Okay...

Okay, that's it. I'm going to be more active on this damn blog. If not this blog, then another one of my bazillion ones. I'm sick of being so damn inactive when I have all these thoughts in my head that are all pounding on my insides, begging to be unleashed on something!!

I've procrastinated long enough. I am going to redo this blog's layout. I am going to be more active. I am also going to be active on my tabulas blog and possibly redo that layout too!

Just after I finish all my work....

*looks at my mountain pile of work to do*

Ah f**k. I hate Year 11. Why does everything have to be so easy and smooth and then all of a sudden, take a sharp turn to the side and plummet downhill when you're still suffering from the shock of the first jolt?

Anyways, this is a teddy bear. It is old and beaten. Or at leas tit looks so. I found it on google image search by typing in 'old teddy bear'. It is me.



It is old and used. It has been discarded to the side and is no longer wanted. It has a black patch on its chest, which is where its heart was torn out. Its fur is matted and wet-looking, from being left outside in the rain and hurting too much inside to be able to move out of it.

Okay, it's not me. But I thought it was good symbolism XD


More blogs...

I have a thing for blogs and journals... I just keep making more and more for some reason, but I only ever use one =/

Here's a list of all the blogs and journals I have:

1. Pup - my hand written journal that I stopped writing in when I made my first blog
2. MaNiAc - my first ever online blog; on tabulas
3. This one - I got pissed at Tabulas cos it kept changing its stuff so I got this one
4. Deviant Art journal - I just decided I might as well start writing there as I was being inactive here
5. MSN space - I randomly made that because the option was there and... *shrug* it's the one i'm active on now

That's a total of FIVE, and I only use one, which is the MSN one (can't say i've been all that active here) ... that's just strange

Yeah, random rant over

~ Kii

Wha-?

Hey, I've been pretty inactive here lately...

there's not much to talk about, as my life is rather boring... but yeah... *shrug*

I'm wanting to make a new layout for this blog... but I don't know stuff about CSS yet and i don't know how to make the posts etc show up if I don't use the CSS tags... because I dunno if the <--xxx--> tags would work... ***so confusing***

ah well, I can't find any good pics for the layout either... I wanted to base it on Amy Lee, but all the pics I find are too small, or too photo-shoot like, and there's only one picture I can find that would be suitable for a layout but I admit it's not that great... ><

oh well, such is life... I have a picture of Dark Chii which looks really good but the thing is... I haven't even watched Chobits, so it'd be pretty stupid to use it, I think -_-

I finished my English Core Homework today (in about half an hour... heh) it's a 1000 word creative writing piece about change, using one of three statements we got. The statements were pretty crap but I managed. The 1000 word limit was a killer though. My original thing was 1141 words long and after quite a bit of pruning, I've finally gotten it down to 1008 words. Good enough ^^

I personally think that I could have written a much better and deeper piece, but that freaking word limit stamped that out. And besides, when I write in my "deep" mode of creative writing, the spacing's all crazy and I don't think it'd cater for the target audience, which is supposed to be my peers... and I personally think that not many people would really want to read my deep stuff. Even if they did, I don't think I'd feel comfortable letting them. Thing is, no one's going to actually read it but my teacher and I guess any friends who ask. Oh well... I might rewrite it, but I probably won't.

S'all for now

~ K

Easter Show...

we went to the easter show today. it was... okay, i guess. here's a list of people that came:

- Krystal
- Hong
- Raqelle
- Zara
- Boyan
- Anna
- Minako
- Me

and a group of 8 people in a pretty big and crowded place isn't that great... on the train trip, Zara was completely sucking up to Minako (really really bad)... so i think that Graves's theory that she is trying to get everyone that likes me, or that i like, to like her better than they like me. I really don't mind if they do, i just don't like the fact that she's doing it. Also, Zara has been complaining that everyone keeps shoving the responsibility of taking care of the Japanese people onto her, saying that "just because I took them ice skating for sport one tuesday..." I think she didn't realise that I was also ice skating with them, and that she can simply say "no I don't want to take care of your person do it yourself" but she's too sucky-upy for her own good, and i suppose that the opinion of others really matters to her, even if she pretends that it doesn't (well duh, she's an attention seeker, na...*rolls eyes*), but today when they got out of the train, she and boyan would just walk ahead, and not care about Anna... and I would be left having to take care of both Minako and Anna. So much for being responsible, na. Before the exchange students came, I was afraid that Minako wouldn't like me, that I wouldn't do something that she wouldn't like and I would stuff up. I told Zara this and she said "just do what you would have wanted YOUR host to do when you were in Japan" so I'm trying to do that. The thing i've noticed though, is that she doesn't seem to be paying attention to what Anna would like... I mean, does Zara really think Anna would appreciate it if she and Boyan made out and basically just left her out? <_< Zara is the most selfish, pathetic excuse for a person that I know. Hmph, I hope she reads this some time. At least that will make her realise she can stop clinging to me, seeing as she has an inability to take a hint, no matter how obvious I try to make it. no point in trying to hang onto something that's already lost, na.

anways, less bitching, more recounting.

Boyan said that "he can't stand crowds" hence he decided to just sit out at the front by himself. Zara tried to get him to come, he wouldn't listen to her, so she got angry and goes "he can do whatever he wants" and walks off with us, trying to make it look like she didn't care... I think she wanted us to go "ohhh, poor little Zara... your boyfriend's treating you so bad...." blah blah. of course she didn't get it so she had to emphasise her irritation *rolls eyes*

Well anyways, first thing we did was (obviously) go to the CHEESE ON A STICK stall! ^^ Ohh, I've missed Cheese on a Stick. It was so good. Really, it's so weirdly addictive. I'll eat it and go "ehh, it ain't that great" and then i'll feel like i need more!! I bought two at once and Hong was like *growl* and after she finished hers, she bought another. I went to the bin to chuck the stick for my first one and when i got back, Hong was grinning at me with another cheese on a stick with one bite in it. I grinned at her and showed her my second one, with no bite in it XD In the end, i won and finished my cheese on a stick last, hehe. We then went to the showbag pavillion. I bought my dad the 2day FM first, because he had given me money to buy it for him. it came in a backpack, so I was wearing it over my little black bag, as the place was too crowded to arrange things properly. Hong and I bought white angel wings for Krystal (in contrast with the twin black ones we bought last year, when Krystal couldn't come with us and we wanted to buy the white ones but they were sold out) and black/white halos for us.

Hong was trying to pick out all the silver stuff from her halo and kinda broke it in the process ^^; but as she says "super glue is your friend" XD She must have fixed it now. I've edited this cos I had to take bath and get off the computer last night when I started writing this, so now it's 'tomorrow' which is Saturday night.

Well, yeah, stuff happened and Zara and Boyan left early (joy!) but Anna went too :( ah well, I shall see her tomorrow!! ......when the exchange students leave!! T_T

oh well... I'll go now...

i don't think i'll finish this entry properly...

~K

Day 4

Hey...

Minako gone visiting the person she hosted 2 yrs ago... Fred's sis none the less... shall be back about 9 - 10... so I got quite some time to the self.

Been a bit disjointed from my group these days... well, that is if you can call it "my" group anymore... I don't belong there anymore and I have no other place to go... I've become much more aware of what Graves means to me in the past few days... hugged him thrice in fifteen minutes on Monday cos he was the only one who could make me feel better when I was near-depressed. I'm pretty glad I still have him at least... I can handle other people maybe for one period but at lunch they're all together and just piss me off so bad... and I don't know why... it's odd, but all I know is that in my mind, they're not that welcome to me as friends... they're just "people at school"

It's always been difficult for me to make friends... I acknowledge that very often... but... I dunno... it's just really bad these days... all I have to do is LOOK at one of these new people and then I get pissed off... I suppose it's my way of missing Hong and Krystal...

Anyways, I saw Graves's lil bro on the bus today... I could tell from his appearance and behaviour that he was very quiet... one to be lost in his own world... etc. Takes after Graves a bit then I guess ^.~ only thing is... Graves somehow manages to be all of that AND still be friendly and to some extent, outgoing.

And I just realised yesterday how strange it is that even though Graves is like... the 4th most important guy in my life (including my dog <3) I can't bring myself to call him by his first name... mainly cos I think that Robert is a crap name for Graves... I don't believe it suits him. But yes... *nods* that's all for today I think.

Ohh, and I also saw a dead bird while walking home. It was lying in the middle of the road with its wing sticking up in the air. I wanted to either pretend I didn't see it, or go and pick it up. I did neither. I just kept walking and looked at it and felt like crying... I admit, I've been pretty emotional these few days... I have no idea why either <_<

oh well... that's all for now

Listening To: In the End (Demo) by LP

Day 2

It is day 2 of Minako's stay in Australia. She landed yesterday morning (and we were late to the airport... ><") and yes... we took her shopping yesterday and also went out for a walk with Shum... she is really really nice!! ^.^ but the thing is... I'm afraid that I might be ditching her for my friends at school like Airi did to me and it was something I didn't really appreciate then... so... -_-"

but yes... today we went to school and she really liked it and the people were really nice to her (duh... suck ups XD) and she felt pretty welcome which was good... she went to visit the Mayor first and then had a tour of the school and then had English followed by Japanese with the yr 11 class... it was pretty enjoyable for her, she said, which is good ^^ Then in the afternoon, after school we went to Lushie's house and took Cokie out for a walk, which was fun ^^

Can't wait to see what'll happen tomorrow...

Tomorrow!!

Yay!!! The Japanese Exchange students are coming TOMORROW!! ^_^ I just can't wait!! I'm so damn excited!!! =D I had to clean up the house quite a bit today to make space for Minako, as well as vacuum and stuff... but it's soo gonna be worth it!! I'm making a sign for her too!! It's gonna say "Welcome Minako" I hope I write the Japanese right ^^; it'd be so embarrasing if it was wrong... oh well, off I go to make my sign!!

~ Kii-chan

Listening to: Hello; by Evanescence